Now Playing: I watched "Marly and me" great forever clasic!
I also watched "Handcock" that was also great but of corse anything with will smith is a great movie.
I wanted to share some on the spot remembering,americana
thois mornings cold and the giant pine trees reminded me of living in "Paskenta"c.a. near "Corning"ca. rattel snake country,man big time!!!
I lived in a trailer there in Paskenta for a while,with the bedfords,I been thinging about Chresie lattly,I last heard she was a nurse,that a cool job has a few children she was like sixteen or seventeen back then,just friends,sister like ,her mother fed me ,they found me living off the loging road up there in Yolla Bollai wilderness,yea by myself most of the time,my spanish black friend would come join me for a month once,a coupple weeks,once but I was there,with a tent like five miles to the nearest dirt loging road,,it's up there man,!!I had a lot of frezz dried food ,like multipul pounds of it,I had a twenty two rifie,lots of amo,thats right(from the coffie shop,someone,)yea I had my twemty first birthday up there,,,that was a reminder from someone sitting near me right now,, think about that,,,,so it was like the song says "stuck his finger to the world"life was bad then the woods was a welcome thing,coke partys,thievs,the streets,getting back stabed by your saposed good friends,just ,this guys going down,like in the military ,striping the dead,what he's worth till then,,,,so like "Bob Dylan sayes""Out to the country where I could not go wrong"well Paskent was cool,Indians out there,little trailer town mostly a way stop in to desolation,I remember the rangers foun my camp site one day""man ,what asre you doingh out here,your gonna get eatten by a bear,!" no man I know what I"m doing, yea,,we'll see, by, and he left,,freaken rattel snakes every where like every ten feet you here one,big timber rattlers,freaken every where,no water, dry ,hot ,high forest ,rosting hot like in the hundreds somtimes,I've seen golden eagels up there ,just floating on the breez,,,by myself verry freakin alone,I've seen verry l;arge moutain lions up there some of the bigest I've ever seen,marin has them to,,I was up there for like a year,I'd just had enough of the world,,I was like seventeen,eighteen,thinkin about Rece a lot latetly,this weather in tahoe I guess,always thinking about jenn,
that kitchen scean,in Marly and me"arguing,,is great ,dramatic,like wife and husband arguing in love,not hate arguing""it was great <I look at her/your /,movies in a diferent way now,like I'm seeing the camera and the crew in frount of you,thinking it's your craft!!"how hard to block all that out and be your role?? quite a skill, it made me feel like I was watching"house of seven gabels "or somting,,your really talented(will complaments get me any where?)
it's to beatifull a day to miss!I'm going walking through the woods with a pack full of organic food, and my med, gonna shoot some film of myself on the beach playing my harmonica possably..
I'm trying to keep my head on stright ebvery one ,it gets kinda crazy somtimes,you dont realize what RECOGNITION can do to a person,and poor and I'm hearing that on the radio,and remember,remember all the yes sighns from jennifer,there are not any no,keep a grip kevin,dont blow kevin,dont break your hand again kevin,,,so it can really twist your mind when just as your falling asleep some young girls drive by and screem "we love you kevin"""hu if ya loved me ya would have bought me dinner, not to be negitive or anything,,no going to sleep realizing my own fame from someone driving by my apt,is really cool,,,,,but then ya wake up in the morning and wham,,,"how much money do I have) and bills and I cant drive,and it's a beatifull day,and I must be insain to think she loves me,then some of that personal heart break I was telling you all about,,,,,,hey "Kelly Clarkson""Want another one?" whenn I was a kid one time<<<<<<<<,,,,NO i WONT,,,,,,
IT'S HARD THEN i GOTTA JUST PUT IT ALL A SIDE AND PLAN MY for real day,,,,,,take a shower,,,make breakfast befor I go out the door or she'll get worried,,,then waite,,,I just said that,then look in the mirror why wouldnt I love you?" well hell that wasent meI wouldnt say that to myself,,,these little things go on as I'm getting ready,building my self confadence,,,,turn on the radio,Green Day "commen on like an armageden,,that helps,,,it's weird I was thinking about it last night that sometimes death seems easeyer,your alone ,cronic pain,a love you cant reach,relitives far away and fame struck by you,notings the same,reality is a reach somtimes,,,if It was just ended it would be easeyer,no more in pain no more briken heart no more ROCK STAR stress,no one hanging on my every word,dont talk about gun laws,split your fan base in half,maybe,,think of all these things day and night because the more you understand the faster and better you can minipulate it ,,I remember there in Kings Beach,,,making absolutly shur I didnt own a gun<<<the movie stars,,cause someone one would pay to get it away from you,,for shure,,thats what happens,,,see ya this sucks this is really hard,I dont even have a heart anymore,I've been alone/but not/for eight years,no warm women to wake up to for eight years ,it's hard it makes you want to justLEAVE...I got some history,nomatter what I'm there everyone knows it's me,,theres fame and my name ,,,thats good enough ,thats more than anyone dose,what I've allready won,/done,I can go I achived more than I ever dreamed I could,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,but ya gotta snap back from all that,,,,,,,time changes things,,,,dont let it get to you kevin"you dont want to be like them do you? "Jerry Garcia " said that to me ,he picked me up hitchiking once in marin,,,hellow carlose santana,,man,,ya coulda warned me,,a little ,maybe,,,,,well Neil Shone warned me I didnt lisithen,,I said "theres no such thing as to famous""" yea right!,there gonna do the Elvis thing to him,,
I remember walking down the beach in san fransico on twilite evening,,,it was cold a little windy and the fog rolling in I was driving my saab then,,alone living in my car then,parked and started walking down the beach,likeing the fog and wind stoned,a little ,,serious heart broken,in a bad way you could say,,verry depressed,, and I saw ahead this REALLY INCREDIBLY BEATIFULL WOMEN walking toward me, and I caught this voice in the wind,,,"HELLOW","HELLOW,i SAID,,,"WHO ARE YOU?,SHE SAID,JUST IN CLEAR VISION NOW i SAID "i'M THE oNE",,,SHE ALMOST BROKE DOWN AND CRYED RIGHT IN FROUNT OF ME ,SHE BARLY MADE IT BY ME,,KINDA CHOKED UP,,AND SHE SAID"hO MY GOD KEVIN i'M SO SORRY" AND SHE PASSED BY ME,WE SMILED AT EACH OTHER,SMEONE KNEW ME AT LEAST,,A LITTLE BETTER NOW, ,,,
FAME IS hard,,THIS KIND OF FAME IS ALMOST IMPOSSABLE,,IF YOU WERNT ME YOU WOULDNT MAKE IT AS ME ,,,WHENS IT GONNA BREAK,WHEN DO i GET MONEY TO BUY JENNIFER DINNER,AND WHEN IS THERE A HOME IN THIS SOMEHOW AND REALLY,,,,RICH,LIKE REALLY RICH,LIKE ,,,WOW REALLY,,OH i'M JUST A SUCKER,,NO THOIES ARE MY SLASH MARKS IN THE SKY,AND NO ENTERTAINER EVER IN HISTORY HAS EVER GOTTEN A 'BAT SIGNAL!""""yes"break on through to the other side"""thanks coffi shop[ back ground!!!) good one,,,,,
dont go crazy on us now man))))
it's real;ly hard,just pratce alone ,just keep practicing,writ incredibal songs,blow there mind,prove it to them,,,I think I finished "match box of butterfly wings""and you can see she's inbetween every line""Kevin O'connell",,,it's beatifull they that lisithen got to here it I asume this music and practice sessions dont go un recorded,,hmmmm.think about that for awhile,,how much privesy do I have left ,,,constantly watching me,,,"somtings wrong with kevin"""warning,,,wake up sweety,,,,it's a hard place to be in let me tell you,it's not that critical as it used to be so,,,kepp worrying I need money for a verry important dinner date,,,
peace in every one gotta go enjoy this beatifull day,,,,,she always on my mind
