Now Playing: just saw phy,m.d. took me off all the phyc meds!!!yipi
no more thorzine no more,kalonapins, now all I got is a low dose like ten milgrams of amatriptylin,which I've taken before,mild antidepresent/pain killer,cause it has some anagelicis in it,ok and another m.d. that agrees with my medical marjuana percription,yipi!!!!,getting less paranoid now,the phyc also told me that mentel helth court and the whole phacility is losing funding,so soon only probation,then move back home to novato or fairfax or san rafaell where everyone knows me and make a court date in marin (with the bail bondsmens advertisment)"lake tahoe,arive on vacation leave on probation"yea and ask the marin court to take me off formal probation and put me on summerary,thats just dont break the law,,,thats step three,,comming up,and I hyave a small thing on my record thats a decade old,I will petition that to be taken off my record,,should be no problum,I get to use hospice now and might get a ssi paid attendent to go to the grocery store for me thats like the last difacult placees to go when your famous,soon I wont be able to go to coffie shops any more,well thats been happening,someone drove by my window last night and screemed out there window,"we wont let them heath leadger you kevin"we love you kevin!!!it's pretty cool to heare that from my apt window all alone in there,verry uplifting,devoted kevin fans,thanks,k-love!!!
still waiting for the vidio camera to be delivered,I got a probation appt in a coupple hours,then I'll be in an even better mood,I wrote this concept down to consider with wow you must be going crazy!"
a one of a kind,the only person on planet earth in my situation,the most famous artist/musicain in the world,living poor in the art trenches,in the population,in love with a bright shiney movie star,looking beatifull and happy and acepting awards,while I get arrested thrown in jail and put on probation,strugaling for food,people driving by my window at night screeming"we love you kevin!"and theres jen in a magazine in the probation office,happy acepting a "peoples choise award",,,it's a kind of heart feeling few people,humans ever get,it's kinda heafrt6 break mixed with joy mixed with fustration frome not being able to change your situation enough,,,,it's really like the rich juliet and the poor romemo,trying to convince myself that shes real and not just some pycosis I suffer from,look back at all the valadation,,,wait,wait how do you make soul mates,A marrige would have to last happyly forty or more years,every phycosis must be gotten rid of "you cant make kevin mad at her and ya cant make her mad at kevin,ya cant destroy this marrige,no poparatzi game or lie or marketing or even kevin in the worse case sanerio,nothing destroys it,,,,this is marketing ya see,,,there smart,waiting for my fan base to pop for maximum,marketing monster,it's really fustrating,but when I pick up my guitar and play it all goes away,,,women in the population dont hit on me at all ,ever,never,not casual conversation or nothing ,theres a reason for that thoes women are more shure of what is to be than I am shure,,"she loves me", thoes women see a clearer way down the road than I do because there looking at it from a womens point of view,,,"he 's jenns" thanks for not trying to drag me away from her ladies!!!,gotta go now,I mean dont ya think if she didnt care about me women woulkd be hitting on me,,yea if she didnt,they would,
peace in everyone time for me to go now,,,,this place my hearts in I cant describe it will take a tale long in the telling,peace.!!!!!,I'm thinking "shades of black for my first vidio attempt,goes with the vapor trail in the sky and I'm gonna have someone interview me in my apt.about being blue and "pink" and "special k"and hitting my head on "the wall"and playing in hanna barbara studios when I was a kid where the artist worked making movie masks,that place was a block away from my apt as a kid what they must have heard,my mother still claming I'm crazy not famous,but shes told me she knows,not for my best intrest,whats the trip I dont know probably telling everyone about the abuse I suffered,it really sucks that shes like that,think your parents would be happy for you,,oh no somting else all togeather!!!!!where there heads at,just makes it all a lot harderd,even you parent will try to phycosis you,!
Updated: Thursday, 12 March 2009 3:16 PM EDT
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